A PEN,FEW PAPERS AND A CRACK HEAD_PART 1

Here goes the head start,after wasting half an hour,trying out poetic lines and tragic quotes,even hilarious one-liners to inaugurate my piece of creativity with,I begin in a very unattractive way,probably the sloppiest of all i have written till date.Exactly the best wrong way(errr...that was to emphasize in an innovative manner"the worst way") to revive a long forgotten skill(not being modest there),i.e Writing...if to specify in my comfort zone-scribbling...
Let's have a fair deal,I talk straight about what i want to,no pathetic or hideous plots to make the stuff interesting,because whatever i do it aint gonna b interesting,as long as its me who is doing it...and if u ask me why,i can always answer in a less convincing,more confusing yet sophisticatedly philosophical manner that"it is just the musings of a forlorn girl whose life is confronting a fragile situation where you need to choose between your emotions and tacts,when your soul clambers to maturity and....."oh my God!if not anything i can make a good preacher!No wonder people call me "ammachi".I can talk some serious philosophy when im in a serious mood and I do sound all grey at times.
Nevertheless,from the above two paragraphs of the narrative,anyone even who are the least bothered,can doubtlessly presume two judgements
1)I'm a completely twisted creature;
2)I'v this uncanny talent of making simple things complicated.
Since after my pen starts moving(now its the keypad that suffers)I never bother about the inevitable disasters it could invite,even in the toughest of my answer papers(thats something for which im infamous for),you will have to keep in mind my love and obsession to write,think,talk and walk rubbish...And this venture ,the way it is turning out to be,should prove it...
The reason for this sudden upsurge of tantrum is a heartless,ruthless sarcastic creature(that's a quite catchy tune with words I composed when i was really mad at her)who has always been in charge of killing my idle time with even more useless chats or small scale/large scale fights whose intensity is classified by how harsh the words we use or how loud we shout at each other.Though renowned for her erratic nature and completely freaky ways,she has never failed me-i.e always to keep me engaged,to be frank,she mostly leaves me irritated or floating(that's what we call for a virtually non-existent state).But this time she has really abandoned me for quite a long time,like she masked herself away frm my reach,dat too for the first time ever(nw its kinda usual)after we seriously started getting involved with each other's lives(that's just a polite way of saying,poking nose into each other's business)And whether she intends or not,I always keep learning new things from her or because of her,not any moral values and all,mind you,just the things about me,which i would never have realised otherwise.But this is creepy,Im learning new things,even in her absence,like just now I learnt that i really dont hav any idle time,its just that i love sparing my time for her 'blah blah'and then to satisfy my pride i call it "idle"....contd